In the corner at the party,
Holding my drink
Nursing it
No one to dance with because everyone has a partner and let’s face it
I’m not the type of girl that turns heads.
Standing in the corner with my drink
The alcohol burning my throat
It’s nice to feel the buzz
To have it so I don’t feel the pain
Or the loneliness

The more I drink
The less I feel
Swaying back and forth
Stumbling around
I just want to forget these feelings.
And I do,
But I also forget all common sense.

They find me,
Completely smashed.
A group of boys find me
Help me
But not to my house
They lead me upstairs

I am thankful I am as drunk as I am
Where I don’t feel the hands
Finding me as I stumble about
Taking what they want
Recording it

Even though I’ll barely remember most of the party tomorrow
I’ll wake up still feeling their hands
Leaving scorching marks on my skin
Scars that will last forever.

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Sticks and Stones

Sticks and stones may break my bones
But your words will
Leave scars that refuse to fade even after so much time.

Sticks and stones hurt but not as much as the blade I pick up every night because those actions taught me I deserve pain.

Your words will never hurt me any more than I can hurt myself because those words are now stuck in my head to remind me every moment.

Sticks and stones do break my bones
But your words will forever haunt me

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Knives in front of Me

You’d think it’d be my back
That’s full of knives.
But no.
The cruelty of people now
Is they aren’t afraid to plunge their poisoned knife straight into my skin with their eyes locked on mine and a smile on their face.
There are some stabs in the back
Some betrayal behind me
But now they know
That even if they do it right in front of my eyes
I can’t -no- I won’t do a thing
Because part of me still things
They could change.
I’ve never learned my lesson.
People don’t change.
You just can’t always feel the knife until they twist it deep inside where pulling it out could kill me.

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You can feel it
No words are said
But you can feel it
Feel as they drift away
Leaving you behind
Like a ghost
They saw you once
As the only few people
Who looked and saw
Have now closed their eyes
Turned away
And left you to fade out
Without even a second thought
Without looking back
Even if they decided to open their eyes
You’ve already faded from their sight
Even if they decided to open their eyes
They’ll only see what they want
That panted smile they used to see right through is the only thing they see.

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Go Fuck Yourself (warning, lots of cursing and foul language)

There is not a single word
In the entire English language
Or any language at that
To give you and idea
How absolutely pissed off I am.

Violence is not the answer
But it sure as hell seems like the only thing that might get through your thick skull.
Coursing through my veins
And disbelief that I could be so gullible.

I can’t even begin
I can’t even fucking begin
To speak
To even look
At your disgusting face.

This whole situation
Is fucking pathetic.
And you
You, my fake friend,
Deserve to be fucking slapped.
But even then
You still wouldn’t understand.
You’d blow it off
And be the little pussy bitch you always are
Always have been.
I wish I had seen that before.

You make my blood boil
And you don’t even care.
go fuck yourself

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How Do You Stop A Suicide

How Do You Stop A Suicide?

How do you stop a person from isolating
from pushing people away
from doing whatever they can to make sure everyone hates them?

How do you stop someone from lying
from hiding behind a fake smile
from breaking promises they made in the midnight hour?

How do you stop someone from giving up
from letting go to whatever they’re holding on to
from completely cutting off all ties to earth?

How do you stop a person from hating themselves
from starving themselves
from carving up their skin?

How do you stop a suicide
without being hypocritical
without making false promises
without breaking your own heart?
How do you stop a suicide, what that’s what you want to do yourself?

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Watch Your Tongue

Words slip out like poison
Tongues are forked
Licking their lips
Leaving a toxins in their wake

Words ring out,
Sharp, staccato, strong
Echoing to be heard all around
Deafening those in their path

Words infect like a disease
That sinks in
Leaving behind terminal tumors.

Words hang in the air
they give a gift
a rope necklace
so you can hang with them.

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Wilting Words

Turn the pages
Stare at the black print
Word after word
Page after page
Chapter after chapter

The black ink blurs
I’ve read the same sentence
Maybe a dozen times.
Can’t focus
Thoughts running wild
Reading the words
Not comprehending
Interrupted by

These adventures that I’ll never be a part of
The fights, battles, wars
Being a knight rescuing a princess,
Discovering magic,
Being extraordinary.

No, reality has caught up with me.
It has trapped my thoughts so now I see life as it is.
I think that’s why these words
These pages
These chapters
Seem so boring, lifeless,
The pages that once captivated me
Have wilted.

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Blue is the Warmest Color

Blue doesn’t just mean cold
It isn’t just ice
Nor the color of frozen lips.
Blue isn’t strictly defined as
Melancholy, depression, or distressing.

Blue is the color of summer sky
Crystal Clear Pools.
Blue is the color of flowers,
Blooming in the spring air.
Blue is “once in a blue moon.”

Blue isn’t just a frozen color,
It’s the warmest color.

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Don’t Start Cutting

When you start
It plagues your mind
Everything that is
Or could be
You see it.
You recognize it.
You hear it’s voice, calling for you.

When you start
You think you control it
You think it’s nothing
But soon that voice,
The hypnotizing voice
Calls your name, opens its arms
And you fall into the trap.

When you start,
And you want to stop,
You think it’ll be easy
You don’t know
That it takes over and controls you
That you lose yourself and
Become it.

If you stop,
You’re lucky.
Those who start
When they try to stop,
They usual lose control
And then they do stop
Because they don’t breath anymore.

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