Lifeless Books

I turn the pages
State at the black print
Word after word
Page after page
Chapter after chapter.

The black ink blurs
I’ve read the same sentence
Maybe a dozen times.
Can’t focus
Thoughts running wild
Reading the words
Not comprehending
Interrupted by
Thoughts
Daydreams
The future is constantly on my mind but I don’t know what it holds and I think that’s what bothers me.
I think that’s why these words
These pages
These chapters
Seem so boring, lifeless,
The pages that once captivated me
Have wilted.

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Who Cares

It’s so
wrong.
That these people, who say
They are
“Loving”
“Accepting”
“Friendly”
But yet I’ve never felt more
Isolated
Forgotten
Transparent.

They crowd around
By me
But their backs
Are the only things facing me.

Maybe it’s me
Maybe it’s them
Maybe no one
No one cares

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The Moon

The Moon casts its light on
smooth, Silky, Skin.
skin as white as innocence.
The only ones awake at midnight,
are the lonely and the unloved.

The Moon has two faces,
one that shines bright,
that illuminates the darkness.
Also one that is darkness,
a face that hides, unseen.

The Moon is her.
A girl with two faces.
Lonely and unloved.
The innocence,
The darkness,
one must take over.
As the moon wanes, so does the innocence
Out shows the nightmare,
the dark side of The Moon
her dark side.

She is not like the moon,
as the evil comes out,
the light goes away,
and it wont come back.
Unlike the moon, after the light wanes,
it wont wax.

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I notice

I notice that

You roll your eyes
As I share my thoughts.

You sigh softly
As I explain my emotions

You change the topic
As I talk about myself

You hesitate
As I smile at you

You don’t include me
As I pine after your friendship

You notice me when convenient
As I stare at you

You don’t seem to care
As I try to talk to my “friend”

Yeah, I notice.

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Words

Words slip out like poison
Tongues are forked
Licking their lips
Leaving a toxic in their wake

Words stretch like rubber bands
Then they snap
Back on my skin
Leaving red welts.

Words hit like Hulk’s fists
Which don’t refrain
As they take away my breath
Leaving purple bruises

Words cut like blades
That I grasp
Slicing down my skin
Leaving red lines

Words infect like a disease
That sinks in
Contaminating
Leaving behind tumors

Words hang in the air
Just like the noose
I wear as a necklace
Leaving behind a lifeless body

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need help?

maddiemayhem:

Please, don’t be afraid. 1800-366-8288

Originally posted on More Than Skin Deep.:

need help?

View original

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Each night

Each night.
At the same time.
I go to my bed.
But I don’t sleep.

Yelling in hushed voices,
Arguing in whispers,
You think I don’t hear?

Each night.
At the same time.
I close my eyes.
But I don’t sleep.

I drown out the yelling,
screaming,
with my own demons whispering,
yelling, in my ear.

I hear their silent yelling,
they don’t hear my screaming silence.

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In front of me

I watch
You make plans
With her
In front of me

I listen
You have fun
With her
In front of me

I notice
You smile bright
With her
In front of me

I feel
You forget me
With her
In front of me

I lose
You as a friend
With her
In front of me

I fear
You walking away
With her
In front of me

I dread
Your welcoming smile
At her
In front of me

You continue
Dancing, laughing, grinning
With her
As I fade away

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Just Tell Me

Just tell me.

If you don’t like me,
tell me.
If you don’t want me,
tell me.
If you don’t care,
tell me.
If you want me to leave,
tell me.
If you have an opinion,
tell me.

It’s worse feeling this way,
unsure if I am
wanted,
needed,
or if I should even
try.

try to be there,
to be in your life,
to talk to you,
to be friendly.

Don’t “spare me”
I don’t want that.
I’d rather the truth,
then a bunch of lies.
I’d rather you tall me now,
then find out later.

It’d hurt more.
And I’m hurting.
And I feel like
a burden
to all.

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Response To “An Angry Emotional Rant about Online Dating”

Originally posted on thenarcissistwrites:

View original post here.

Dear Dating Hater,

Before I even get into the nitty gritty details of what you’re saying, let me start by pointing out that in your comment to me, you asked me to respect your experience of dating. I was uncharacteristically nice to you in my first comment, a little more blunt in my second comment, but in both I offered you MY experience of dating and how I thought you could improve yours. Instead of being an adult and treating my opinion the way you asked yours to be treated, you deleted my comments. So naturally, you’ve lost the privilege of my respect.

With that said, let’s start with your initial premise that “being attractive has become the most important thing in society.” Literally, from the first sentence, you’re wrong. Being attractive has been the most important thing in society from the dawn of time. Welcome to being…

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